In Zelda news on Saturday 15 July 2006

There’s a lone shaft of light breaking hazily through a crack in my chamber wall; my only indication of the summer beauty that lies outside. For the past month I’ve been locked away at the top of Elements Towers, held to ransom by mysterious captors who say that until I bring Zelda Elements back, I’ll be fed on a diet of potatoes and celery while they pipe Eurobeat music through the wall. I initially thought that muffled Engrish at 200 beats per minute would gradually send me crazy, but my vegetable-limbed friends have helped me through the hard times and now I’m here, on the verge of freedom, ready to unveil the new Zelda Elements to the world.

I was concerned that my captors would forget what the old site was like and punish me for simply doing a cut-and-paste job, so I prepared a letter to make it clear that I haven’t wasted a month polishing the ol’ Master Sword. It reads:

Dear Mysterious Captors,

Please let me thank you for this marvellous opportunity to bring back a site that you so obviously enjoyed. I hope you realise that I only took down the site because life got in the way, and in no way did I intend to offend you. However, after you so coherently made the argument for me to find time for the site, I decided that yes, perhaps it would be a good idea to bring back Zelda Elements. Because you were so persuasive in your methods, and maybe also because I’ve grown fond of potatoes, I decided to go a step further and completely revamp the site - adding new information and new pages, while rewriting the old stuff.

Pages that were once barren menus have been filled with visual information, while messy sections have been cleaned. Content that was originally written by a 15-year old have been (hopefully) improved, and now read a bit like a Shakespearean masterpiece (I wish). References to the “next” Zelda game no longer read “that bloody cel-shaded travesty”. The site itself has been widened to account for the shift towards larger monitors, giving content more breathing room.

Think of this site as a love letter to Nintendo, and perhaps, to you, my captors. Without you, this site wouldn’t have been made.

Please enjoy,
~Nexus Zero

P.S. I also just want to say thanks for introducing me to “Mega NRG Man”. He’s ace. And please turn the heating down.

Fearing that I’d never see the sun again, I didn’t tell them about the new update plan which will see the latest news and information posted as soon as we receive it. I also forgot to mention the Sunday Scribe where I’ll post something substantially textual, starting next weekend with a feature that asks a question we thought we knew the answer to. Other Scribe updates will include strong opinion-pieces, articles, emails, and anything else I can muster up. If these revelations were communicated to the Mysterious Captors, I can only imagine my life would be spent here, in dingy Elements Towers, forever cranking out update after update.

So that’s the way things are. I can hear the echoing of footsteps from the stairwell, which can only mean my imminent freedom. Please have a look around and get in touch with us, tell us what you like/dislike, and perhaps pop into our forums for some friendly company.

It’s the dawn of a new day for Zelda Elements.


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User comments

26th August 2012 at 17:46

well, i did a bit of posting amidst the spam, and i think that really messed up my account, because when i go there, i can’t even see my posts anymore.

25th August 2012 at 4:54

It’s technically there, there’s just no link to it from the main menu.  If you click on someone’s username you can see a link to the forums from the profile page.  Not being in Nex’s head, I can only speculate as to why it was removed.  I think it was because it was overrun with spam, and nobody was posting except for the spam.


24th August 2012 at 1:55

Do we not have an actual forum anymore, I got bored and nostalgic tonight and figured I’d pop over to reminiscence on my RP running days (even if all those post were on the old forum) and can’t even find it now.

27th July 2012 at 22:50

Also, you can’t get angry if nobody responds within one minute of your post.

24th July 2012 at 16:41

dude, chill, this site is pretty quiet, getting activity here is like killing chuck norris, it can’t be done.


23rd July 2012 at 23:52

sorry link for threating to kill you, (answer now)


23rd July 2012 at 23:50

I will make link fall and fall and fall and fall and fall and fall and fall and fall.


23rd July 2012 at 23:47

i will kill link repeatedly.


23rd July 2012 at 23:46

p.s., i will kill link repeatedly.


23rd July 2012 at 23:46

talk back or link and everyone else gets it.


23rd July 2012 at 23:45

talk back!


23rd July 2012 at 23:45

oh and, how strong would the best link ever be? and please answer me.


23rd July 2012 at 23:43

you know, why does zelda get kidnapped anyways, or dies even? does she ask them too to prank link or something? i mean she is a princess for crying out loud! you’d think she would have better security!