The Sunday Scribe - Ocarina of Time Beta Quest

In Zelda news on Sunday 30 July 2006

Ocarina of Time - Beta Quest

A departure from the usual literary feast this week, because the Captors have had me working the fields as further punishment for my initial rebellion against their regime. While it was wonderful to get out of my dingy chamber at the summit of Elements Towers, my artificially pale skin didn’t take kindly to the harsh summer sun and burns have rendered me immobile. Tater was quite jealous that I was allowed to see the outside world until I pointed out that had he ventured from the Towers, I’d now be living with a chip. When the Captors realised I’d probably be unable to write another textual behemoth, they provided me with a copy of Ocarina of Time and an Action Replay. Using its powers of genetic manipulation I mutated the greatest game in the world, ever, into a glitchy, incoherent monster. With the Moon Jump as my scalpel, I probed the beast’s intimates and created this educational autopsy report, which you can browse here.


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